


you will be found

by sconekitty



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Anxiety, Gen, Mild Spoilers, Social Isolation, ventfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:20:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23607457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sconekitty/pseuds/sconekitty
Summary: "In reality, Akira knew that he would only need to keep up this routine for nine more days. In his head, nine days sounded like absolute torture. It meant nine more days of ignoring over half of his phone list, nine more days of not being able to leave, nine more days of waking up and staring at the star stickers on his ceiling, hoping maybe this time they'd seem comforting instead of suffocating.He didn't think he was going to be able to handle it."
Kudos: 57





	you will be found

**Author's Note:**

> this is a self indulgent fic that i wanted to write solely because ive felt pretty isolated from the people i know and love. and combining that with not really being able to leave my apartment since august... yeah, it's been a lot.
> 
> hopefully y'all enjoy!

Akira thought he was going to go insane being cooped up in Leblanc.

Playing dead was already hard, and given the circumstances, Akira would do just about  _ anything _ to leave the café, wander the streets of Tokyo, and just be able to  _ breathe, _ if only for a moment.

Sure, he still kept in touch with his friends. Obviously - they were in the midst of planning their biggest heist yet, and they couldn't afford to  _ not _ communicate. But he only messaged them first when it involved Phantom Thieves business. When it came to just having a conversation, well… Akira had never been the greatest at starting them, or messaging first.

It wasn't a big deal, at first. He'd still get texts throughout the day from their group chat, and they'd all message him fairly regularly outside of it. Hell, even some of his other confidants would message him, but he left those ones unopened.

It was better that way, he rationalized.

After the Phantom Thieves revealed that no, their leader was not dead and yes, they were going to steal Shido's desires away from him, Akira hoped that maybe he would finally be able to go out and about again. When he realized that he still needed to lay low until after the election, he visibly deflated.

It was around then that the messages slowed. Rationally, it made sense. Exams were coming up soon, and the Phantom Thieves had done their job, so there was no need for constant back-and-forth texting.

Still, there was a part of him that told himself that since there was nothing else for their group to do, there was really no need for him to stick around.

He tried to silence those thoughts, but they just came back, louder and more aggressive. The only thing he could do to push them back was to keep busy, but he could only replay his games and reread his books so many times before words started meshing together and he could no longer keep his focus.

He couldn't exactly help Sojiro out downstairs during the day, either. Part of being a dead man walking.

In reality, Akira knew that he would only need to keep up this routine for nine more days. In his head, nine days sounded like absolute torture. It meant nine more days of ignoring over half of his phone list, nine more days of not being able to leave, nine more days of waking up and staring at the star stickers on his ceiling, hoping maybe this time they'd seem comforting instead of suffocating.

He didn't think he was going to be able to handle it.

Day one, he spent the whole day deep cleaning the attic, and did the same to the downstairs as Sojiro closed up for the night. The older man was slightly surprised, but grateful nonetheless.

On day two, he tried to play Punch Ouch to pass the time, but he was still uncomfortably aware of how slowly the clock was moving. After thirty minutes, he gave up and threw his controller on the floor, not really caring anymore if it broke. He decided to change gears and fidget with infiltration tools at his desk, even though Mishima had no new leads in Mementos. At the very least, it kept his hands busy. By the end of the day, he had a pile of lockpicks that he didn't really need.

On day three, he slept in as late as his body would allow.  _ Maybe time will pass faster in my sleep, _ he thought. When he looked at his phone after waking up for the fifth time and saw it was just past noon, he let out a groan in frustration and spent the day scrolling endlessly on his phone when he wasn't trying to coax his body into falling asleep again.

Day four was spent largely the same, but with some pacing around the attic mixed in. During his pacing, he decided to rearrange the items on his shelves, despite the fact that he just did that the other day. When he checked his messages at the end of the night, he noticed no new texts and felt a twinge of sadness in his gut.

Day five was hard, emotionally. It didn't help that he kept waking up every couple of hours due to nightmares. He spent the entire day under his blanket, trying to drown out nightmares and flashbacks and attempting to fight back tears, though he knew neither would end up successful. He felt Morgana hop off the futon and heard him go somewhere, but he was too wrapped up in his own head to care.  _ He's probably sick of being cooped up here with you, _ Akira thought bitterly.

Day six was the day he snapped. Without thinking, he pulled a hoodie over his head, grabbed his spare key, and climbed out the window as soon as he saw an opening.

It wasn't until he got to the subway station that he realized he forgot his phone at home.

_ Oh, well. Not like anyone messages anyway. _

He didn't really have a particular location in mind, just the feeling of anxiety gnawing at him telling him he needed to leave Yongen  _ right now. _

He wound up in Akihabara for a bit, absentmindedly browsing shops. Upon looking, he stumbled upon some Featherman merch and went to grab his phone to send a photo to Futaba.

Oh. Right. No phone.

He kept browsing a while longer, until he found a toy lightsaber that looked eerily familiar and his anxiety took over, guiding him far, far away from the saber, the store, anything and everything that reminded him of what he had gone through in the last month.

Eventually, he ended up at Inokashira Park. By then, the sun was starting to set and almost nobody was there. It was a nearly perfect setting for Akira to clear his mind.

"Wonder if anyone noticed I'm gone," he mumbled to himself. Morgana would notice, probably. Then again, he hadn't seen Morgana since the day before, so maybe he wouldn't. Sojiro was busy with the café and had barely talked to Akira over the last few days, so he didn't expect his guardian to notice, either.

And with his phone still in the attic, Futaba would likely just assume he was still there, attempting to sleep the day away yet again.

_ Right when I'm done being a dead man is when everyone starts acting like I don't exist. _ He let out a sad laugh, trying not to cry again.  _ Figures. _

Looking out at the water, he thought about the time he had spent at the park. With Yusuke, in a boat, trying to keep it steady while he took in the surroundings. With Ann, the first time he had ever said he loved her (even if it was a joke and even if he didn't mean it romantically, it still stuck out in his memory). With Iwai, where he got a swan boat out of it. With Takemi, helping her with her research to make sure Miwa-chan was able to keep living.

He wasn't sure when the tears started falling, all he knew is that they weren't going to stop anytime soon.

Akira really, truly, genuinely missed his friends. His confidants. He wanted nothing more than to go back, before his world was suddenly full of police brutality and death and guns and everything surrounding Goro and-

"Akira?"

He snapped his head in the direction of the voice and saw Futaba running full speed toward him.

"... Taba?" He hated how his voice cracked.

In a split second, the girl tackle-hugged him, effectively knocking both of them onto the ground when Akira couldn't catch his balance.

"We've been looking for you all day! Where have you been?" She almost sounded like she was scolding him, but Akira could still sense her concern. Futaba let up on her vice grip around Akira long enough for the two of them to sit back up.

"I… I needed to get out."

"Next time, tell someone where you're going!" Futaba pulled him back into a hug, and Akira instinctively buried his head in her shoulder. "You've been a ghost for like, three days. We're all worried about you."

"...right, sorry."

"I see she found you first, huh?" Akira briefly poked his head up and saw Sojiro walking toward them, with Morgana following closely behind. When he got to the two teens, he gave Akira a couple of pats on the head. "Don't run away like that again. You've given me enough scares recently as it is." He paused for a moment. "Plus, I'm getting too old to spend my evening driving around Tokyo trying to find a teenager."

"Sorry," Akira mumbled again.

"Don't be. Just… don't disappear like that again, alright?"

"Mhm."

The four of them sat in silence for a bit, Sojiro and Morgana watching the sunset while Akira tried to calm himself down in his sister's arms.

Once the sun disappeared from the horizon, Morgana stood up and stretched. "Are you feeling any better now?"

Akira wasn't sure if he had an answer for that. His head was still filled with a few too many thoughts, a few too many memories, but… he felt lighter, somehow.

"Akira?" Futaba prompted.

"... a little," he finally responded.

"A little's better than nothing." Futaba finally broke away from Akira and stood up. "Let's go home. I'm sure the others wanna hear from you too." As Futaba spoke, Sojiro got up from his spot on the ground.

"The others?" Akira was confused.

"The rest of the Phantom Thieves? They've been blowing up the chat all day!"

"Oh." That came as a surprise to Akira. The chat had been practically dead for almost a week.

"Alright kids, you ready to head home yet?" Sojiro asked.

"Yep yep!" Futaba replied. "Let's go home!"

While in the car, Futaba let Akira borrow her phone to catch up on the group chat. Most of it was just bickering between Yusuke and Futaba, but toward the end of it, the conversation changed.

_ Futaba: ok akira where are you? you havent said a word all day _

_ Makoto: Maybe he's working on something? _

_ Futaba: doubt it. hes been radio silent for a while _

_ Futaba: even for him _

_ Ann: i hope that he's okay! i know he likes to keep busy. _

_ Ryuji: yeah… i barely heard from the guy all week. im kinda worried. _

_ Yusuke: Isn't he usually quiet in these conversations, though? _

_ Ryuji: i mean yea but… _

_ Ryuji: i tried callin him earlier and he didnt even answer _

_ Ann: huh, that's really weird. _

_ Ann: normally he'd jump at the chance to talk to you _

_ Haru: Futaba-chan, can you go check on him? _

_ Futaba: yep yep! brb!! _

_ Yusuke: ? _

_ Ann: akira if you're reading these messages and not replying i hope you know you're a jerk! _

_ Ryuji: for real _

_ Futaba: bad news _

_ Futaba: hes not home _

_ Ann: what do you mean? _

_ Futaba: sojiro hasnt seen him all day and when we went upstairs he was gone _

_ Futaba: his phones still here tho so idk where he went _

_ Makoto: That's pretty worrisome. _

_ Futaba: were gonna go look for him _

_ Ryuji: good luck _

_ Ryuji: dudes a master at not being found when he doesnt wanna be _

_ Futaba: i know _

_ Ann: just let us know when you find him ok? _

_ Futaba: roger! _

"Wow, I didn't think anyone would even notice," Akira mumbled, mostly to himself as he started typing a response.

"Of course we did," Futaba replied. "Everyone just thought you wanted space at first so that's why we left you be."

_ Futaba: Hey guys, it's Akira. _

_ Ann: !!!!! _

_ Ryuji: dude whereve you been?? _

_ Futaba: I needed to leave. _

_ Futaba: Being crammed in the attic was driving me fucking insane. _

_ Makoto: Are you okay? _

_ Futaba: Yeah, just using taba's phone til we get back home. _

_ Yusuke: I'm glad to see you're okay. _

_ Haru: We were worried about you, so I'm glad to see you back. _

_ Ann: don't scare us like that again you dick!! _

_ Ryuji: if you pull shit like this again im breaking into leblanc and laying on top of you so you CANT run away like a damn cat again _

Akira chuckled at that response.

_ Futaba: Promise? _

"HEY! Keep in mind you're on  _ my _ phone!" Futaba snatched her phone out of his hands and began typing while Akira watched.

_ Futaba: akira lost phone privileges for the next until we get home _

_ Ann: pfffffft _

_ Makoto: Get home safe, you two. _

_ Makoto: And next time? Don't disappear on everyone, Akira. Okay? _

_ Futaba: i already told him that dont worry _

When Akira got back into the attic, he collapsed on his futon and stared at the glow in the dark stars once again. But this time, he felt slightly less trapped in his room.

"I'm sorry this has been so rough for you," Morgana said.

"It's…" Akira wanted to lie and say it was okay but no, him being confined in a small space for so long was very much  _ not _ okay. "...it's an adjustment, but as long as I have you guys around, I think I'll manage."

"Good. Now let's get some sleep."

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! if you wanna scream with me i'm sconekitty on twitter!


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